Swine flu. Run for my life!
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
