youre lurking in front of me
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
