Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
