Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize