I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Success! We fucked roommates!
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
