after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
