If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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