You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
