You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
