So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
