Just cropdusted the office
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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