I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
