I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
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