Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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