I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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