Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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