Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
