like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I can't turn off my feet"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
