We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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