Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
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