quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
