I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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