dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
