So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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