Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
