I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize