and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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