What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
