i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
