I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
