i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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