upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
