My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
