Sry I called you an 8
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
