Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
