Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
