he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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