Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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