threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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