Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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