I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
