garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
