I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I lost the right to judge tonight
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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