We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
