Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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