You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize