after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
