I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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