only if we run a train.
done.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
