plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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