My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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