Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
