At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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