Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
