On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
