Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
