my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize