would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
