I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
