She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
