i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
