Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
