Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Boobs speak an international language.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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