he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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