$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Randomize