I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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