Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
