He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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