omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
