gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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