You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
