Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
