Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
