its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
