school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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