I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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