This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
time to smoke my breakfast
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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