you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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